Grit

I think the only characteristic of grit that I have is that of long-term goals. I have long-term goals. Very long ones. I mean, decades ahead type goals. But that’s about it. That’s the extent of my grittiness. I’m not trying to be self-deprecating, just honest.

Take courage. I am in no way courageous. Nothing I have done in the past 18 years has required courage. If one person says anything about Africa requiring courage I will smack you upside the head the next time I see you because it required nothing of the sort. I’ve known for years that I wanted to, needed to, go on that trip. I wasn’t nervous or scared for a single moment, so it never required courage on my part. So please do not give me credit where credit is not due. It is certainly not due there.

Okay, I guess I’m somewhat achievement oriented. I do try to do a good job and 95% of the time finish whatever it is I’m supposed to do. However, I’m not really sure if I’m dependable. I think others know that better than yourself. Frankly, in my book, it’s just safer not to depend on anyone for anything at all. Moving on.

I do not feel that I am resilient. This is due to the fact that I think I am a pessimist. My motto is “Hope for the best, expect and prepare for the worst”. If that isn’t a pessimistic motto I don’t what is. I’m not confident, at least not when it comes to people my age. Old habits die hard and up until now people have rarely given me cause to feel comfortable around them. It’s merely the only types of experiences I’ve had with people for so long that I’ve come to, yet again, “Hope for the best, yet expect the worst”, of them.

Lastly, I do not feel that I am in any way excellent nor do I believe that I will do anything that remotely amounts to something even approaching excellence. I am one person on an entire planet full of billions of other people. Each of those people has their own life and their own plans and their own dreams. I am merely one tiny, insignificant, blip on the radar of the span of our planet’s history and future. When I die nobody will remember me or care that I am gone after the people who knew me are dead. And I’m okay with that. I’m perfectly okay with the triviality of the 80 some years I have left. I don’t mourn the fact that I am highly inconsequential, not at all. In fact, I embrace it. This way I can go quietly and it will not have an effect on anything at all.
So, in conclusion, I do not think that I am a gritty person. Other than the fact that I have goals and try to do a good job I don’t amount to much. In the grand scheme of things I am highly unnecessary. I sit here, as the majority of humanity does, breathing oxygen and taking up space and consuming precious resources, and will one day die a death of little consequence. Call me morbid, call me cruel or cold or whatever you will, but I’m just being pragmatic. I think that’s why I’ve never had too many friends, because I view everything too honestly to fit into a society that is so gorged on optimism. But I figure it’s better to view everything in the greater context of everything else and realize just how unimportant it really all is than to think that you’re going to make some major difference for the betterment of the long-term world. That way you can never be disappointed when things fall short because you assumed they would anyway. You can still try to do something wonderful and good and who knows, maybe you will succeed, some people have; but that way, if you do fail, it won’t hurt you. Also, if you do happen to succeed, it will be all the more sweet because you never thought you would. Okay, I’m done being a Debby Downer about life in general now.
Bye.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mh252079
    Feb 28, 2015 @ 19:00:44

    Finally figured out how to get this our of “draft” mode so that’s why it is a day late.

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  2. pk
    Mar 10, 2015 @ 15:12:40

    Wow…never figured you to be such a Debby Downer. I’m pretty sure that no one will change mankind, but to make a difference to just one person is an achievement. Many people live only to satisfy their own needs. If you are as pragmatic as you say, you would realize that you have already impacted lives!

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